This past one year is the year of learning about life for me, tinged by the lessons of life and death, hate and love.. They are all manifest.
There are things we don’t want to happen but have to accept..
Included the loss of everything that we ever had, that taught us not to be over-attached to worldly things that can easily come and go. Sometimes if not the loss, life gives us hard slap in the face unexpectedly but again, we have to accept. This hard slap does not always come in form of severe problem, but it can be the fear produced by the consequences of our action. Whether the dread comes or does not come into reality, it has already given the scar of the trembling and startles that we are pushed to take any actions to elude ourselves from the same mistake. In other way, God has repealed our fear and He has given us one more chance to reform to be better than before. His grace is our driving force. And in the end, the only greatest fear that’s allowed is the fear of God and the slap is a sweet sweet admonition. I’m in the process of fixing past mistakes and oh yes, I long to the moment we are finally free from these gripping shackles.
Things we don’t want to know but have to learn..
That our life can be suck if we’re surrounded by wrong people. There is time that we meet these villains in our story. Those people broke our heart so bad because as simple as we had tried to live righteously they came unexpectedly and screwed everything. However in some ways, the scratch those people left admonishes us to make a choice for moving on: to retaliate or to forgive. Revenge, as we know it, is an evil cycle. It never ends, it’s fatiguing, and it nurtures the devil in our soul. But forgiving is no easy for the first option, as human-being, it is our tendency to be such overbearing and difficult to forgive. But walking around angry was tiring until we decided not to hold that anger.
I can not say that I have forgiven wholeheartedly now, I just keep forgiving and learning how to react against those people. Anyway, as someone who truly believe existence of God, I once learned about compassion, that merely this choice will lead us to happier life.
And people we can’t live without but have to let go..
It twinged to see the one you loved in pain, it was even more excruciating to see him died while you were holding his hand and all you wanted was a miracle or else stayed a little bit longer with him. One year passed, we understand that death is the absolute thing we all must undergo though we often subconsciously deny that it will happen to ourselves/family some day. With this loss, we become much stronger and wiser. We eventually realize that the chasm of life and death is just a blink of eyes and to cherish moments in our life. My dad taught us one last lesson.. that everything did have its own time, to struggle didn’t mean to resist, to surrender didn’t mean to give up, to die didn’t mean to end the journey..
And sometimes we failed in some things that we had planned but like one said, there is time that we have to thank God we weren’t on our schedule, because even though we dragged our heels and checked our planner every five seconds while we watched our life change in His hands, we just have to hope eventually we’ll like the place we’ve ended up, and the things we’ve seen along the way.
Just when we think we’ve figured things out, the universe throws us a curve ball. So we have to improvise, we find happiness in unexpected places, we find our way back to the things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way, sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong. (Meredith Grey)
Godspeed! and Happy new year.